When I heard the first frog of the season chirping in the field near the house, I knew Spring had arrived at last, or the creek had flooded the garden again! Then I thought, why be negative? Why not go with the frog (after all Miss Piggy does). I remember the wisdom of my Grandpa when, discouraged and seeking solace, my venerable elder told me to “cheer up, things can always be worse.” So I wiped away my tears, put a smile on my face and cheered up! And sure enough things got worse. (rim shot)
This week I’m trying to lighten the load of those of you in need of good council and reassurance. For that, I’d recommend the internet or Craig’s List. But if you’ve got a few minutes, I’ve found a few phrases, funny and profound and most decidedly corny to cheer up your day.
The buzzing little pollen collectors are hard at work proving once again that nothing is as certain as a May bee!
Facts (definitely not false or trumped up):
- Spring can start at different times, depending on who you ask. Looking at the astronomical calendar the first day of Spring is 20 March. For meteorologists Spring starts on 1 March and runs until 31 May.
- On the first day of Spring, a person at the North Polewould see the sun skimming across the horizon, beginning six months of uninterrupted daylight. A person at the South Polewould see the sun skimming across the horizon, signaling the start of six months of darkness. There. Isn’t that uplifting.
- Did you know that Benjamin Franklin first proposed Daylight Saving Time in 1784. It didn’t catch on at the time because no one knew where to save it. • Spring fever is for real! It’s not just a saying. Experts claim the body’s makeup changes due to different diets, hormone production and temperature. • No month other than May ever begins or ends on the same day of the week, in the same year. It may match with the months of the following year. There’s a real party starter for ya!
- The Kentucky Derby takes place on the first Saturday in May proving that you can horse around and still become a national icon.
- and speaking of national Icons, no United States president has ever died in May. It is the only month with that distinction. There is one however who risks near-fatal “foot in mouth” episodes.
Non-facts, Non-sense, superstition, silliness and whiz-dom:
Wouldn’t Max Factor like to know this? According to a superstition, on May 1st, young girls, upon waking, used to rush out in the garden to wash their faces in the May dew. It’s too late for this year but give it a try next year and see if the freckles and pimples vanish. Of course these days some enterprising tattoo artist, drumming up business, has been convincing some women that they can have permanent freckles. So don’t forget to do your dew diligence first needle starts buzzing.
Idle thoughts of a mind in neutral: • You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. Pablo Neruda • Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. Doug Larson • Spring is the season when it’s summer in the sun and winter in the shade. Charles Dickens • In the Spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. – Margaret Atwood • Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny Spring day. W. Earl Hall • Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’ Robin Williams • God created June because Spring is a hard act to follow.
Finally: Words of wisdom to survive keeping your jungle in check on your riding mower. It’s tough but somebody’s got to do it.
And speaking of somebody: “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin
So my friends, fight-on with all your skill and dumb luck, and when things don’t seem to go your way, remember the wisdom of Albert Einstein – he wasn’t just any (quantum) mechanic you know: The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits!
Until next week, soak up the sun, in shorts, by the BBQ on the patio enjoying the last few months of profession al hockey! Semper fi Canucks!