I feel An Election Coming On – Calibrate Your BS Meters! – You don’t say-Vol.89

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Ray Hudson
Ray Hudson
Ray Hudson

It’s still eight months until the province goes to the polls, but the battle has already been engaged. You know this because the government has been seized by a spirit of magnanimity, gifting the citizens with our own tax money in an effort to show they have been wise stewards of the public treasury. The opposition politicians, of course, have a different perspective, but if they were in office would anything change? Perhaps the capricious messenger, Mercury, has something to with it.

Let’s look at some of the comments of those who have spoken wisely, some not so wisely, and some who would Trump everything. It’s time to invoke that old axiom: it is better to remain silent and risk being thought a fool than to speak and prove them all right.

We’ll start with the wisdom of the ages, the Greek Philosopher Plato: “Those who are too smart to engage in politics, are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.”

Now, philosophy class with the Dean of Retorts, Winston Churchill had a brilliant way of looking at the obvious from a new perspective:

  • A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.
    • The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
    • Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
    • An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile – hoping it will eat him last.
    • A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.
    • Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. It’s also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Then there are the philosophical musings of those poor souls who are straight out of my second paragraph (above).

  • Things are more like they are now, than they ever were before – Dwight D Eisenhower
    • Traditionally, most of our imports come from overseas – Australian minister Keppel Enderbery
    • Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we – George W. Bush
    • Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it’s just the opposite – John Kenneth Galbraith
    • No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that’s why we have two parties – Bob Hope

Then there was President George H.W. Bush’s Vice President Dan Quayle, who, while neither hawk nor quail, did seem to possess an Aves (bird) Cerebral Mass (brain):

  • On June 15, 1992, Quayle altered 12-year-old student William Figueroa’s correct spelling of “potato” by adding an “e” to produce “potatoe” while visiting an elementary school class (with a full media entourage in tow). Oops! Clearly the tuber needs a tutor.
  • It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it – wow!
  • The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other. An obviously astute analysis of the geopolitical reality.
  •  A man with a firm understanding of fiscal motivation: Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It’s the other way around. They never vote for us.
  • Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win. Clearly a man who aced Stats at the old alma mater.

And finally, I‘ll leave you with a profundity that neither Jean Cretien or Donald Trump could top. From the brilliant beak of America’s Quayle came: “The future will be better tomorrow.” Really???

Have a good week but beware, Mercury (the messenger) is retrograde right now!